Stop Comparing Yourself

Improving your relationship with self-improvement

Self-improvement can be a slippery slope, leading to compromised relationships and productivity.

But by remaining aware of ourselves and what we choose to consume, it is possible to have a healthier relationship with self-improvement.

The first and most important step: Stop comparing yourself

Mark Twain put it best when he said: “comparison is the death of joy.”

Comparison is hard to avoid, but we can start by using social media for information-gathering and inspiration, rather than visiting accounts that leave us feeling empty.

We can focus on our own goals, review our personal mistakes and successes, and decide how our experiences can lead to positive change.

Speaking of positivity, optimism is fine, but be realistic about your goals. Otherwise, we’re likely to feel like we don’t measure up.

“You have to look at your resources and your personal situation and at the market to see if you can really move in the direction you want,” says John Vespasian, author of On Becoming Unbreakable: How Normal People Become Extraordinarily Self-Confident.

Rationality, Vespasian says, allows people to maintain a balance between their dreams and reality.

Remember, too, that improvement isn’t a one-size-fits-all scenario.

“You can learn good ideas and examples from other people, but your path to personal development is going to be unique,” says Vespasian. “It’s crucial to adapt your self-improvement plan to your personal circumstances and goals.”

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